At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
