I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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