it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
