I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
