Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
