You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
