my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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