You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
