Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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