I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
my poor anus
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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