My first STD was from a foam party
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
