I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
