he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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