Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
