i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
