I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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