I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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