I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just want nice things and good sex
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
