Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
