I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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