Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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