I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
