I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
