i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
