Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
