you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
