I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
