my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
