You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
