Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
