u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I yelled at your uterus for you.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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