her vagine was all disorganized.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
