I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
