I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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