Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
