now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
