got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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