i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
