i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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