I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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