Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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