Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
