I need help removing her.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
