how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I am one with the molecules
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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