Have you finally orgasmed yet?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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