as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Sober January is a disaster.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
