i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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