So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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