My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
