im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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