I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
