So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
